Hijab is definitely not easy. If it was, there wouldn’t be such a large reward for it. So first, I want to start off by acknowledging how you feel, and letting you know that your struggle is not uncommon and is valid.
I have been wearing the hijab officially since I was 14. I struggled with it on and off throughout middle school because I kept thinking that, once I put it on, it’s never coming off. So, I wanted to make sure I was ready to make that commitment.
I am Yemeni, and growing up, I thought a lot of what was culture was Islam. And it created a huge complex for me because a lot of things just didn’t sit with me well, especially as a woman.
Suddenly, everything felt like a task to either make others happy, or to make myself look good, but there was no connection from my heart to what I was doing. So, I started researching my deen more, and found that I was really sold short of my education on my duties and rights as a Muslim because what I was learning first hand was mostly culture. Once I was able to separate both, I realized that I gained that connection to my deen and to Allah (SWT) so that when I did things like pray, fast, and even wear the hijab, it had meaning to me.
I think you need to start by communicating with your family more about deen, and the importance of intention when applying things from our deen to our lives and lifestyles. And maybe then you can tell them how you feel about hijab. I don’t know if this is something that would be easy but I think it would be a great step.
However, if you feel like you cannot have these types of conversations with them, I suggest you make the intention to learn about the hijab more to gain the confidence of choosing to wear it (rather than for your family) so that your experience can be better.
Focus on learning about the reward and dig deep into your spiritual journey so that you can separate your actions between doing it for others (your family), and doing it for yourself (and your akhira).
I truly believe that the more we learn, the easier it is for us to live a life that is in line with Allah’s commands and the sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH).
There is a great podcast to listen to that is all about the hijab, and topics related to a variety of hijabi experiences, called the Journal Hijabi Podcast by Sereen Qader. If you are interested in learning more about the hijab and gaining a stronger connection, these episodes will be very inspiring, and will help motivate and empower you in your own journey. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram, @journalhijabi.
This is also a great video to watch by Jasmine Fares, a content creator on Instagram and Youtube, where she shares her hijab journey and more insight on the topic of taking off the hijab. She also discusses the importance of reflecting on how you view the hijab, and how changing your perception of it will enhance both your experience and feelings towards it.
So, as I mentioned earlier, start by learning more about the hijab on your own terms, and with an open, fresh mind. It’s also helpful when the resources you are looking at are by women you can relate to and connect with.
I hope this advice and these resources will help guide you to make a decision that sits well with your mind, heart, and soul, Inshallah.
We hope to hear back from you with an update, and whether or not our advice helped. Remember, you can always count on us!
Best of luck and much love,